Robby The Elf
Well, it all started back in the day when Santa was visiting a mall in Michigan. The Michigan Mall, I think. You see, back then Santa used to have elves accompany him while traveling. After all, do you really think Santa feeds the reindeer and cleans up after them?
Anyways, I'm Robby The Elf – half elf on my mama's side, Eva Elf. My dad, Bobby Becker, one fly-guy local dude, saw my mom and it was love at first sight – and a little elf magic too! Yeah, Dad thought Mom was the bomb. After Santa left, Mom stayed at a small elf colony called The North Side, located on the north side of the south side of Michigan. My parents fell in love and got married and then I was born. Mom said I was so cute my face belonged on a stamp.
Mom taught me elf folklore and Dad taught me to shoot hoops. I have always enjoyed different genres of music and I even created my own called Christmas Crunk. After saving Christmas one year, Santa wanted to see what impact an elf could have through music. I told him no one would believe me and he said, "You're telling me?!"
Now I'm an elf underground, beating the streets 'cause nobody's gonna give an elf a record deal just because he knows Santa. I've been recording music and living in the upstate of South Carolina for a spell. It's kinda cool and Santa has a house and some family nearby.
I'm here to spread the message about the repression of elves. Just ask Christmas retailers, "Where's the elf stuff?" My goal is to have everyone hear my music so that someday, every child will also leave a cookie for an elf on Christmas Eve.